Crazy Takes a Whole New Meaning
by blackandblueangel
Summary: What was more of a danger to the men of the BAU: A crazy Unsub or a pregnant Emily Prentiss? Emily/Morgan, JJ/Emily/Garcia girls' time.


_**I swear, I work too much. I don't even remember when I last posted on here. October? November? Well, I did warn my reader for Girl from Nowhere. Anyways, no freaking Idea where this came from, but I find it funny as hell.**_

_**Summary: What was more of a danger to the men of the BAU: A crazy Unsub or a pregnant Emily Prentiss? Emily/Morgan, JJ/Emily/Garcia girls' time.**_

_**Disclaimer: um…um…um…Fuck it! I wrote it in other stories, read them…..**_

The men of the BAU would rather cornered by an armed unsub, than deal with a pregnant Emily Prentiss. The profiler's mood swings put a whole new meaning to the word crazy. It got to a point where she would get a certain look in her eyes and everybody knew that it was time to run for their lives. The one who took the brunt of Emily's punishment was Derek Morgan, the father of her baby. This could all have been prevented if they hadn't gotten drunk that one night, five months ago, and forgot a condom. In their defense, the case they had just finished was a tough one and got to everyone. There were two people to were able to escape Emily's wrath: her two best friends, Jennifer Jareau and Penelope Garcia.

JJ entered the bullpen to see Morgan and Reid running towards her. "JJ, You have to help us! She's gone crazy again!" Morgan begged, literally shaking.

JJ rolled her eyes. "She's pregnant, Morgan. Speaking from experience, it's not exactly a picnic." She reminded him. "Don't you have an office to hide in?"

"I was in there, she invaded and threw a stapler at me. I'm lucky I was able to dodge it!" he said.

JJ laughed. "Yeah, wouldn't want your already over grown head to get any bigger." she joked.

Morgan groaned, while Reid kept his eyes on Emily. "JJ, this is serious. Emily has the potential to commit murder." Reid said.

"Spence, relax, she's not actually going to kill you. Morgan, what did you did this time anyway?" JJ asked. It had to be Morgan's fault. It usually was anyway. Morgan was way too overprotective when it came to Emily and their child. First, he went over her head to make sure Hotch made her stay out of the field. For that, she stole the keys to his precious car and forced him to take public transportation to work for two weeks. Then, he started crashing on her couch, because he was worried for her safety. For that, she threw his clothes out the window after a week of annoying her then locked him out when he went to go get them. He had been stealing her coffee everyday since he found out she was pregnant. He, also, tried to steal her chocolate, because he wanted her to eat healthier. After she tried to break his fingers, he relented on the chocolate.

"What makes you think this was my doing?" he asked.

"It was your doing, Morgan." Reid answered.

"Hey, Kid, watch it." Morgan warned.

Reid stepped back as he saw Emily move towards them. "Derek Morgan, I may be carrying your child, but we are not dating and we are most definitely not married. Give me my damn coffee!" she demanded.

JJ nodded. "Seriously, Morgan? You haven't given that up yet? Get her a coffee and you'll live to see tomorrow." JJ instructed.

"Pregnant women are not supposed to have caffeine." He reminded them.

"Actually Morgan, pregnant women can have up to 200mg of caffeine a day without risking danger to the baby. That's about twelve ounces of coffee." Reid corrected him.

"See, Jackass!" Emily fumed, whacking his arm. Morgan jumped back.

JJ knew where this was leading, so she intervened as usual. "Come on, Em. Let's go visit Garcia and see if she was to go out for coffee." She offered.

"I don't think Hotch would be happy if your three leaving already, you just got here." Reid said.

"Would you rather watch Morgan die?" JJ asked.

"Have fun girls!" Morgan yelled, making a run for his office.

"Fucking Jackass." Emily muttered.

JJ smiled. "Come on, Em." She said, as she led Emily away.

* * *

><p>JJ, Emily, and Garcia were sitting in their favorite coffee joint. Emily had her coffee, so she was perfectly content at the moment. Well, she was content, until JJ and Garcia started talking to her about her recent actions. "Emily, I can see a lot of this stuff as mood swings, but today you threw a stapler at Morgan, yesterday, you locked Reid in a janitor's closet, and last week, you threw a pen at Hotch." JJ pointed out.<p>

Emily groaned. "I know that I'm going a little over the top…" Emily began.

"A little?" Garcia cut her off, giggling. "My Chocolate God runs for his life on instinct when he sees you coming." She corrected.

"Alright, I'm very over the top! Reid wouldn't shut up, Hotch tried to get me to take a lunch break when I clearly wasn't ready, and Morgan has been insufferable jackass!" she explained, sipping her coffee.

JJ smiled, sympathetically. "He cares, Emily. Can you really blame him?" she asked.

"Uh, yes! Men suck." Emily concluded.

"All men or just Derek Morgan?" JJ asked.

Emily groaned. "Especially Derek Morgan!" she answered.

Garcia almost spit out her coffee, before laughing. "Why don't you, two, just get together already?" she asked, bluntly.

"Garcia!"

"What? It's true. Everyone's been asking each other, even Hotch." Garcia explained.

"Against policy." She reminded her.

"And?"

"I'd rather not have either one of us leave the team." Emily admitted.

"So, happiness trumps policy." Garcia said.

JJ nodded. "I have to agree." She said. "I mean, you're already having a baby together."

"Yeah, because of too much vodka and no protection." Emily said.'

"And whose fault is that?" Garcia teased.

Emily groaned. "Ours."

"So do you think punishing the whole male population is going to fix your problem?" JJ asked.

Emily sighed. "I hate it when your right." She said. "But if you don't help me break Derek's overprotective, asshole ways, I'm going to kill him and make it justifiable." She warned.

Her friends laughed. "We'll talk to him." JJ promised.

"And I'm not moving in with him! I've been living on my own my entire adult life, getting pregnant s not going to change that!" she proclaimed.

Garcia nodded. "We know, Sugar Plum." She assured her.

JJ looked at her watch. "We should be getting back, ladies." She told them.

The women got up from the table and threw their cups in the trash. "By the way, Emily, the look on Rossi's face when you told him to go fuck himself was priceless! I wish I had a camera." Garcia joked, making herself and her friends laugh.

* * *

><p>The day went with out incident. Morgan steered clear from Emily by staying in his office, doing paperwork. For a majority of the day, JJ, Emily, and Reid did paperwork. While Reid and Emily intently worked on their paperwork, JJ multitasked between paperwork and plotting her Garcia via text messages. They were trying to get Emily and Morgan in a room together.<p>

Garcia- On my way to Morgan's office to prepare, make sure Emily doesn't bring her Glock.

_JJ- Already have that covered. Let me know when._

The plan was set all she had to do was wait for Garcia.

* * *

><p>Morgan watched as Garcia entered his office with a box. "Baby Girl, what's with the box?" he asked. Garcia ignored him as she started grabbing things and putting it inside. She started at his desk, grabbing his stapler and a paperweight. He tried and failed to get her attention as she continued to grab various items and put them in the box. Morgan eventually gave up and walked out of his office. Garcia left a few minutes later, satisfied she got everything.<p>

Garcia walked into the bullpen, after putting the box of Morgan's stuff in her office, to find JJ alone. "Where are Reid and Emily?" She asked.

"Breakroom." She answered "You done?"

"Yep, all blunt objects that can be used as weapons are in my office." She said.

JJ smiled. "Awesome."

"Emily's Glock?"

"In my desk. Morgan?" JJ said.

"Also in my office." She said. "Let's go, Buttercup."

* * *

><p>Morgan had gone back to his office to see the damage Garcia did. He was surprised to see so many missing items. He was going to get down to the bottom of this. As he was going to leave his office, JJ and Garcia entered with Garcia dragging Emily with them. JJ closed the door and stood in front of it, blocking the only exit. "Time to talk, guys." She told them.<p>

"About what?" Morgan asked.

"Your issues." Garcia answered.

Emily groaned. "Seriously, you want us to do this now?"

"Nobody is leaving until you do." JJ said.

Emily looked around the office and noticed stuff missing. "You don't trust me." She accused her best friends. JJ just shrugged.

"Okay, if you want us to work things out, then why are you, two, staying?" Morgan asked.

Garcia giggled. "Because, Hot Stuff, I may have removed anything that she can used as a weapon, but someone needs to be here stop her from choking the life out of you when you put your foot in your mouth again." She answered.

Morgan nodded. "Good point." He agreed. "Where do we start?"

"You start be repairing this dysfunctional relationship." JJ said.

Emily sat down in one of the chairs. "What relationship?" she asked.

"The relationship that you, two, refused to admit your having." Garcia answered, before moving to stand next to JJ.

"I am not starting a relationship with this arrogant, overprotective jackass!" The brunette profiler vowed.

Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Ouch, Princess, that hurt." He joked.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Not as much as what will happen if you call me princess one more time will hurt!" she threatened.

"Alright, Princess." He challenged. Poor moron should have known better than that.

JJ leaped forward to grab Emily as she tried to attack her idiotic baby daddy. "No, Em, you can't kill him." She said.

Emily sat back down in the chair. "Bastard." She huffed.

JJ reclaimed her spot by the door as Morgan slowly inched towards the chair next to Emily's. "In all seriousness," he began. "I wasn't trying to be arrogant or a jackass. You're carrying my child, Emily, I'm still getting used to that concept." He admitted.

Treating me like a porcelain doll isn't going to help you get used to that idea." She told him.

"I can't help that I worry!" he said.

Emily nodded as she felt the tears forming. "I know." she nodded. "I get annoyed so easily. Your child is wrecking havoc on my emotions, definitely your kid, by the way." She said wiping tears from her eyes.

Morgan stood up before kneeling in front of Emily. "Emily, I love our child and I love you." He admitted.

Se let the tears flow freely. "Took you long enough." she said before pulling him up by his shirt until his lips met hers.

JJ and Garcia watched the scene unfold until JJ opened the door and pulled herself and Garcia out. "Do we have to go?" Garcia asked as JJ closed the door again.

The blonde profiler nodded. "Yes, she's not a danger, anymore, so let's go to your office and hang out." She said. As the friend's walked toward Garcia's office, they knew things in the BAU were about to get better. Well, atleast until Morgan pissed Emily off again.

**_Yipee, done! And just in time for work. I shoulda said no. Let me know what ya think, because I am having serious doubts with the Morgan/Emily part._**


End file.
